Quirks
by NerdyBookLover
Summary: Just something random and crack-ish I came up with. Matt, Mello, Near, and L talk about their quirks. And who doesn't wear underwear... Rated for slight language. No pairings, unless you want to look at it that way.


**Hello everyone. I was really bored during homeroom and I had just finished rereading volume 12 of D. Gray-Man and volume 9 of Deathnote, so I started this little thing. I wasn't really gonna do anything with it, but I figured I might as well make it a short little oneshot. It is slightly crack-ish. Anyways, here you go. Sorry if it sucks. I've never been very good at writing during school.**

**Disclaimer: I no own Deathnote. Sad **

"Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Come on, Matt. You trust me don't you?"

*sigh.* "I guess."

"Good. Now take off your pants."

"What the hell, Mello!?"

"Kidding, Matt, kidding. Though _technically_ clothing _is_ optional."

"Mello…"

"Alright, alright. I'll be right back. I need some chocolate before we get started."

"You and your chocolate. You've got some pretty weird fetishes, you know that?"

"What do you mean? It's perfectly normal to like chocolate."

"Mello, you eat chocolate every day. Often as meals."

*pause. *"You said fetish_es_, as in numerous. What others do I have?"

"Well, you always wear black, usually leather. And you are constantly pointing your gun at people just because they upset you. And your rivalry with Near is kind of scary. And—"

"Oh, please. Those are hardly fetishes. They're more like… quirks."

"…quirks?"

"Yeah. Like… personality traits. The things that make me… Mello."

"Uh, okay."

"Yeah. And you have quirks too."

"Like what?"

"Your videogames. All you ever do is play those stupid games of yours. Like right now."

"They are not stupid." *sounds of gunshots come from the DS in Matt's hands*

"Whatever you say, Matty."

"So what are my other 'quirks'?"

"Well, you have those weird goggles that you wear _all the freaking time_. Why _do_ you wear those anyway?"

"For… personal reasons."

"Oooookaaaaay…"

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

"Fine, I will." *Matt grabs a chocolate bar and throws it at Mello, not once taking his eyes off the DS*

"Fuck, Matt! That hurt!"

"It was a chocolate bar."

"You hit me in the face! And you weren't even looking."

"That's just because I'm a ninja."

"Yup. Everything makes sense now."

"Shut up and eat your damn chocolate."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"What are you two yelling about?"

"Oh, hi L. Matt threw chocolate at me and is trying to boss me around."

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

"Boys, play nicely. I'll be back in a minute, I just need to go find some cake."

"Matty, L has quirks too."

"Yeah, I guess he does."

"What do you guys mean?"

"Oh, well we were talking about… things, I guess… And one of your quirks is sweets. And percentages. And never wearing socks. And slouching and sitting weirdly…like Near."

"And why are you discussing this?"

*both boys* "I don't know."

"L, have you seen that toy I had earlier?"

"No, Near, unfortunately I have not."

"Have either of you seen it?"

"No."

"Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you!"

"Mello, be nice."

"No! Why is everyone constantly telling me what to do?"

"Because you're incredibly immature and let your emotions control you."

"Shut up, Matt!"

"Near never tries to tell you what to do."

"You shut up too, L."

"I'm just saying…"

"What were you talking about before I got here?"

*Mello, Matt, and L* "Quirks."

"Oh. Okay."

"Hmmm. Near has quirks."

"Yes, I am 100% certain that he does."

"Yeah, like how he has all of those toys—"

"That… is definitely a fetish. But a quirk at the same time."

"Matty, sometimes you make absolutely no sense."

"Shut up."

"Anyway, Near is also always wearing white clothes that look like too-big-pajamas. And he sits like L. And he also uses percentages."

"Hey, Near. Why do you always wear clothes like that?"

"Because they're comfortable."

"Do you wear underwear?"

"What the hell kind of question is that, Matty?"

"A good one?"

"Hmmm… I am 27% certain that Near doesn't wear any underwear."

*Matt and Mello* "…Really?"

"Yes, really. Near, do you wear underwear?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business."

"I bet Mello doesn't wear underwear."

"I bet I don't, too."

"………"

"Shut up."

"Nobody said anything."

"Whatever."

"………"

"Matty, do you wear underwear?"

"Yes."

"L?"

"I do, as well."

"Near?"

"I still don't see how that is any of your business."

*sigh* "Well, then… I guess I'm the only one."

"That we know about."

"We could always find out for ourselves…"

"…We could…"

*Mello whispers to L and Matt* "I'll sit on him, while you guys take off his pants."

"I vaguely remember you asking me to take off my pants earlier, as well."

"I don't."

"Then you need to get your head checked out."

"Do not!"

"Boys, what have I told you?"

"Yeah, yeah, play nicely and all that crap."

"Hey wait. Where did Near go?"

"He probably figured out that we were gonna try and pants him."

"Damn! Why is he always ahead of me?"

"For the same reasons that people tell you what to do. You are immature and let your emotions control you."

"L, Matty isn't 'playing nicely'! Why don't you reprimand him?"

"Because I still haven't gotten my cake yet."

"That's it. I'm leaving. I'm gonna go eat some chocolate."

"I'll go get my cake."

"I'll sit here and do exactly what I've been doing this whole time."

******Meanwhile, in Near's room******

*giggle* "Mello doesn't wear underwear!"

**Okay… there was absolutely no plot here. And it kinda sucks. And the ending was… terrible. But I'm lazy so I'm just gonna leave it like this. I had tried to write the whole thing in dialogue, so if it's confusing, blame my 'creativity'. And I really don't expect many reviews for this, so… yeah…**


End file.
